I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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