your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
