Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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