I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
