im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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