CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
