I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
