If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
