Quick, to the slutcave!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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