she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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