His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
