Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
