Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
