Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
