i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
