some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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