worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
