so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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