Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
