he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
