70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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