I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
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You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Even my vagina gasped.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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