Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize