There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Success! We fucked roommates!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
