Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
