My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
