How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
