did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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