But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
