sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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