Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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