umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
