I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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