I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize