problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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