he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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