my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Panties = found
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize