Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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