Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
