Nicole vs. Life
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
