Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
