yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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