what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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