I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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