I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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