Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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