Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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