You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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