dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
