She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
