if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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