whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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