I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.