my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table