There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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