how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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