Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
