Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
