i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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